That nagging feeling.
That you are being held down. Rip to shreds.
By a past that will not let you live. Or grow...
Not being fair to others. Not being fair to who you wish to fall in love with.
So now, its time to eviscerate this problem, and get rid of this miasma.
But the search is so long and deep.
I haven't spoken to Gloria in a while. Make it three years. I need to know something. What is Jayen's given last name? How is her kids doing, how is Gloria and her kids doing.
Because it isn't me searching for them. Others now have joined in attack or future planned attacks against me. I don't care what they do, i just want to get the story clear once and forever.
Because if i know one thing, part of the reason why Im doing this is by the end of august, I will try my best to move on. And everybody says, oh ronin, you said it before.
But this time, i mean it.
Heres why i say this.
Because i'm not gonna be here in this dead town (Philadelphia), with these dead people, who go around there day saying ay-yo, the common language. Now get this, i don't hate certain people in the city. I don't hate the actual make up of the town. But what i hate is the death, that stench of death rising up and making this city, gentrified like Akibara District is becoming. Its like every time i go out, i see dead people. Walking to the job, smoking, going to the fancy wannabe New York restaurants, the fake freaks over at Uni Of Arts with there fake Cos-play getups and dress-ups. This same old game is getting old.
Getting rid of this issue, these hang ups will help me gain a lot of free will. I don't have to compare people anymore. I can finally have a certain amount of focus that i lacked in some years. If i want, i can start a business. If I want, i can reboot a nation. If i want i can remake a whole industry in a day. But what I want don't always matches what i need. I need to have the independence to lose from time to time. Without anybody catching me. I need to know that even if i pass on too early, that i made an impact. I need to know that my life isn't going to be a waste. Stop loving the game, and start respecting other peoples lives even if its is in sin. Stop being politically correct to save my ass, because its already been saved.
And one last thing. Stop hiding who i want to be with...but that gonna stay between me and that person until she wants it known. I am not saying ANYTHING until she wants to.
So...the search and the final part of this journal, and its epilogue will be the LAST time i will say anything about Jayen, Gloria, Toonzone, Jeff Harris and the Inner Circle (BECAUSE THEY ARE INVOLVED IN THIS) and all of the people involved in this matter in shadowness EVER again. I have too much grief from people who think that since they think this whole issue is an conspiracy, that it has continued to keep real issues from being told, from a perspective that is not connected with the major media or websites from being acquired. Toonzone boards are now spreading the LIE, the FUCKING LIE that Toei Corp has blacklisted 4Kids ENT after the issue with One Piece, where even if that had one iota of truth, shows that Toei is the most hypocritical animation entity in the world next to Time Warner... If i TOLD you that Toei cannot blacklist 4Kids because if Toei did, 4Kids WOULD HAVE NEVER brought Kamen Rider Dragon Knight - Toei has FIRST REFUSAL RIGHTS with Adness!
But you see, this is why the issue with Jayen needs to be cleared up. NOW. Once that is done, people will know that I was being used as a pawn, and had my name dragged through the muck because of this issue. They all need to know that, Toonzone, and the Inner Circle has been the aggressors. Once that is taken care of, i can move on with my life.
When its all said and done, things will be come Crystal clear, The world my oyster, and no psychologically inept, emotionally dead and vampiristic men or women will stop me.
The search continues...