The Invaild Manufesto

Novid - The World Broken Apart
I have fought so long to have the world view of America.

To be Conservative and raise my children in a good Christian household.

To have freedom to drive any car I want...

To say what I feel about certain things about how silly our petty problems are in the whole scheme of things.

But now I cant say these things.

I cant have these things...

I cant be with the one i know...

The world has finally got me where they wanted me...

Broken, destroyed, a boot stomping on the face of humanity forever.

The world has got me where they want me.

Between Sin and Insanity...

What to do when you have nothing but sweet demon sickness dripping in the mouths of most every girl in the Ghettos of this country...

And the Insanity of our leaders, spending, spending and spending us into a deep morass, waiting to pass laws making us political prisoners...

They haven't taken the last things that make us human, but then again they just about to...

They delay the game that had to end.

They wait until things seem to bend the wrong way from them...

Then its over...they take it away.

Create this robotronic generic humanoid and call it human...

They sing the death rattles, they make things not what they seem.

They lie to our faces and now...

Im looking to the world through the stars and wonder why, why cant I.

I smell the zombie rain... patting the same way, making the Earth grow hotter...

Making humanity into a animal in heat, taking the souls away of the innocent. Nothing will stop them, nothing will satficy them until they kill the victim and themselves in a orgy of blood, sinew and seed...

The hearts of men grow cold as they steal your money...your votes (American Idol too) and they eat cake as the Occident (The name of the western world) burns in pieces.

Now they have stolen from me. The only way to have a life. The only way to have freedom they stole it years ago and I cant get it back... broken in and now no more... no more perfect. No more diamond...

Just like the rest of humanity.

What if it was all for nought? What then?

Will I have the strength to build my self up again? Face the world again?

I feel its too late...

I feel that the ghetto has become the whole world...

I cant get out of the death, the pain the whole nonsense...

I don't want to be generic.

I want to be free.

But I cant have that because my mind is stuck of having that wife, those kids that house our life's that future...

Now it will never happen...

Im breaking down into the pieces i was just 8 years ago. It's like nothing has changed...

I wonder...

How long before the dark world that I saw becomes the reality that the world is forcing me to enter...

There is nothing left - theres no truth...unless its from them...

But maybe... There is something inside of me... something that never went away...but I kept it hidden...

Maybe the monster in my heart that I feared all this time...

Was the only thing that will get me out of this hell created by sicker men and even sicker Governments.

Maybe the only way to get what I want...

Its to unleash my heart of chaos...

For if the world has denied me my hope of a brighter future for me...

I will bring the world that takes and takes and takes and never gives back to its knees.

I'm in the shadowness...

And Im against the world...

For my child's blood is in the worlds hands.

The people of the lie... and refused to live...

I will let them die in their insanity...

For they let me die in there filth...

All I wanted was to be a husband to a wife that carried herself like royalty...

All the world will get from me, is my fist in your lies and deceit.

For my word's are the Death Note...

And your reactions will be the Symphony Of Destruction...

Novid - Rebirth In the Time of Death
(Note, Picture is done by Giovanni Rubaltell and is called Rebirth (a preisous name or smile)

So, I hear that 8 is on its way.

I am happy to hear this. While others are too busy hanging on to past glories, things hear keep changing for the better.

I say about rebirth is to go ahead for it. Many people are scared because of it. I say its a long time coming.

People worry too much about certain things that they cannot control. And they things they do? Others muck up the message that was trying to be conveyed.

Years ago, I was here. Talking about things that needed to make sense. Today I know three things are going down.

One, we were never allowed to grow (not up because Growing Up is something we did way earlier in life and was forced upon us).

Two, our connections to the past are being ripped to shreds wether from animation, to sports and the like. And that leaves the present ever more important but even that is a misnomer because we have been taught never to live in the present and it takes a good long while to do so...

Three is that we are left in a world (or at least a nation or nations) with people too primal and animalistic (read as using laws to cover unjust acts and lawbreaking when it comes to overall society) that when even a simple act of complaint turns into a joke to some, a worry to others and plan to turn over sociality into the whims of what did "work in the past" from the people who are making the complaints.

All this leads into leading the culture to the debasement of Miss Cyrus (which Mr Foxx was correct in his assertions but incorrect in how he went about saying such things, forcing him to apologize and retracting what ever he said was true) and the Generic Life Style that both the left and the right want for this country.

But what they both do not get is that same Generic Life Style, lead into the disasters of Katrina/Gulf Coast and Iowa, The Housing/Derivatives Bubble of 2007/2008 and the mishandling of recruitment, tactics, and exception of the conflicts/Police Action of Iraq and Afghanistan. Because the mainstream media did not do their jobs (or at least tried to) when it came to the latter, the hid the real tragedies of both Katrina and didn't even talk about Iowa City - it was only a matter of time before they would mishandle the economic situation on all sides not just left or right.

This site isn't about that Generic Life Style. There are rules yes. There has to be. But this place isnt about why this celeb got dumped, court orders and all those things the industry worries about.

It is showing the mirror of life. And many times this decade, that mirror wasn't pretty at all. Remember, I was a reviewer(somewhat) here during the 6th version of Shadowness and I enjoyed it. I felt I was actually good at it. If i get the chance to do it again on the 8th version Ill jump at the chance. I wasn't here to belittle people. I felt that I was doing was Jerry Beck and Amid Amidi was doing on a smaller scale - teaching and showcasing what works. Granted, I haven't been on the photoshop/illustrator game in a while (and BOY, a lot has changed.) but i'm thinking I have to do more with it.

Because i feel its is time to go back to doing the web-mastering thing again with Garou Gothic, and this time around Im not letting up.

My biggest problem is the cash issue. Do i really want to spend thousands of bucks for my dream? Because my dream is that this new version of GG will put the Journal Ideas, the cartoon electro site, the two new ideas i have plus a new radio show and video/Blu-Ray journals as well as the books im writing into this one site. Sounds big? It has to be. But that doesn't mean I leave here. I never left even when the site was down. Its not me to leave something that has kept me grounded for so long. Other people do, but that was never me. Im hear for the long haul regardless of Garou Gothic comes back or not.

But GG has to come back. Because I cant stay idle despite how bad the economic situation is getting. There is a DEEP hole created by the end of Toonami - the end of CN (as we knew it) the Anime Correction the Crunchyroll pirate situ and the lack of coverage (common, Cartoon Brew and the HUNDREDS of animation blogs and countless twitters, cant do it all) of the american art and animation world that it needs to come back. I dont think Toonzone will ever do the job I used to do.

I dont think that John K will ever get respected in the Media as much has Seth MacFarline is (yes, even Fox Loves him more than Joss and Seth has almost sued Fox twice) and the way its going it would be a smart idea to get a feel for Latin America (some sites dont even talk about it because its OMG Soclisim and what not) Animation world view.

But I have ideas as well. I think is time for a compeiter to do something between Streamline Pictures and 4Kids - take the very good and leave the "bad" that will promote american content as well, that will work within the TV business - something that knows what it does and does it well. Uses Blu-Ray as a sticking point. Folks it can happen even in bad times. Great things have happen in bad times. That is the promise of what a nation like this produces. If we take the risk now, years later things will get on track and you will see things that you cant imagine.

But things start here. In this place. What needs to continue of the spirit of rebellion. And not the ones that wants a President dead, or a race of people to be destroyed over there "daughters" protection or all sorts of sillyness. No, its to show those who wish not to lose their souls, not to lose their connection to the past...

That you are NOT the person that wants to make the Earth into a Dead Ball In the Universe.

That YOU are NOT the person that LOST the WILL TO LIVE like others have...

That you will at the very least give the common curtacy to let people be no matter what defensive or other hatred you have against their skin, or sex legitimate or otherwise.

At least we can at peace with the works of these fine artists. At least we can look at these works and say humanity isn't that far gone.

Thats all one asks in this "dying" civilization. That at least we can grow and mature when the rest of the world doesnt want to.

Novid - Goddess of the Dark World, and their minions
Note: This was originally posted by a Michael Goodspeed on his blog. But it was one of his best essays i wanted to post it here: (Original Title is called Classroom Sex, The Goddess and Her Devotees)

[i]Authors note: The following essay features frank and adult language. Please do not presume to know my intentions without careful and sober consideration. Your discretion is advised.

The other day, I was watching one of those TV shows that's done in the style and format of a news broadcast. I refuse to call it news, because despite the best efforts of the Hearst Corporation, Time Warner and Rupert Murdoch, in my mind that word still connotes something truer and more dignified than militaristic propaganda or salacious entertainment. Instead I'll call what it was -- a spiffy 60-minute production that produced in me an erection and the firm conviction that I require at least three more prescription drugs in order to continue walking and breathing.

Some grinning blockhead named Matt Lauer was interviewing a woman named Debra Lafave, a drop-dead "hittable" blond high school teacher with the rack of Jane Russell and the lips of Marilyn Monroe. She looked and sounded almost identical to another woman who appeared on the show, Paris Hilton. Something else they had in common -- they had both recently been convicted of crimes. Lafave pleaded guilty to having sex with a 14-year old student. While Hilton was convicted of being Paris Hilton -- a personification that entails constant drunkenness, insatiable nymphomania, and every imaginable form of social irresponsibility.

Even though Hilton enjoys the privileged benefits of personal trainers, manicurists, and every other perquisite of the rich and abominable, I found Lafave more attractive than Hilton in every way imaginable. And I'm not alone in my feelings; Lafave is a goddess in the eyes of venereal males everywhere. And her behavior is part of a trend in the United States -- female teachers who are married or single, ugly or pretty, fat or thin, childless or parental screwing their male students seven ways from Sunday.

Glorified game-show hosts like Matt Lauer pretend to be mystified as to why this trend is occurring. But there are no mysteries here. There is only either the honesty and willingness to see, or the determination to remain blind.

The average woman reaches the apex of her sexual ripeness at the age of 43. Her libido increases for decades after puberty, along with her overall sensuousness and pleasure-giving abilities. She improves like a fine wine, until she peaks, and slowly declines. For males, sexual maturation is more like a Mexican firework -- it explodes spectacularly and kills dozens of bystanders, then immediately flares out and begins to die. But it takes forever to die; it just sits there stupidly burning and billowing smoke.

Everyday all around the world millions of blue-balled teenage boys sit trapped in classrooms with eminently desirable and blazingly horny schoolmarms. What lunatic social engineer contrived to place these volatile compounds in such dangerous proximity to one another? Imagine the relief both parties must feel when the fires of their loins are briefly extinguished in the blessed aftermath of a sexual explosion.

We grown men hear of Debra LeFavre and countless others like her, and we have no choice but to flee to the bathroom and frantically masturbate. We can't help but imagine what it would have been like to have been that boy. In a way, it's reverse pedophilia. We think, Yes teacher, please defile me in the most exquisitely satanic and bestial manner. When we hear of male teachers having sex with female students, we might fantasize about that too. But sometimes we have the decency to feel guilty about it. Not because society tells us to, but because the vicarious roles have been reversed. And we imagine how we would feel if some ignominious fiend like ourselves had laid his hands on our daughter or granddaughter. Is this hypocrisy? I don't know, but I do know, like all male beasts, that I wish I had had a teacher precisely like Debra Lafave when I was 14.

When Debra Lafave walked the floors of her classroom, she felt the lascivious eyes of every pubescent young man, these eyes burning her flesh and caressing her clit. She was beautiful and she knew it. And she felt her power over her students, even more than the power of a dominatrix over a submissive. But the power of a goddess. She was more than Paris Hilton, or Angelina Jolie, or any of those soulless, silicone beasts that have come to permeate our entire lives. She was Aphrodite. And her blazing mane was her wet and inflamed cunt. Its flames danced and teased at the heads of all below her. And for one chosen -- and many would say lucky young man -- the conflagration enveloped him, perhaps coming close to incinerating his being. But in all likelihood, doing him no harm.

But this is not to say that Lafave's actions were more right than wrong or more sane than insane. Even if we dismiss all moralistic interpretations of grown women having sex with pubescent males, the fact remains that the female pedophile's motivations and desires are similar to those of the male pedophile. They're not looking for relationships based on mutual love, affection, and equal responsibility. A pedophile has no more interest in those things than a bloodsucking vampire. What the pedophile seeks is the godlike thrill that comes from controlling, enslaving, and even destroying another human being.

We are a generation of men who are programmed to worship at the altars of porcelain mannequins and inflatable sex dolls. Little girls in the United States are instantly aware of this perverse, collective idolatry by male beasts. They sense the energy field coursing through the air around their skin. And they know that in order to absorb this stream, they must become ideal capacitors for its electromagnetic frequencies. This means transforming themselves into objects of worship and obsession. Billions of human beings pray to the very gods before whom they tremble in fear and want and pitiful desperate aching privation. One need not love a god in order to hand one's soul to it.

Debra Lafave's husband may have loved her, but he did not worship her. She could never arouse in him the wonders of terror and joyousness and transcendent excitation that she so easily evoked in her teenage lover. And the taboo of it all only made it more enticing. No one who has inherited the power of a god can easily walk away from it. Power is more addictive than love. Because it, like a drug, inflates and elevates us into strange and unpredictable stratospheres, but can never keep us permanently afloat. It can never provide any lasting satisfaction.

This is not a simple matter of predator vs. prey, or evil vs. good. We live in a society of revoked and disempowered human beings. No real control over our lives, at least not in any sense that matters. No control of our government, or any of the institutions that shape the direction of the culture. Limited ability to truly make life better for ourselves, and our loved ones. In the absence of genuine personal power, human beings are reduced to begging animals. And the idol to whom they beg is either an external god, or the god of their own egos. And neither can ever succeed in giving them what they really want.

Debra Lafave wanted to be Aphrodite, or at least Paris Hilton. Instead, she'll have to settle for being Debra Lafave -- similar to so many other 21st century Americans in ways that hurt and maim. Social deviants and outcasts with no families or careers or even a country to call their own.[/i]

Novid - Broken Souls, Not Allowed.
Folks, I know i haven't been here in a while but I just want to take some time and speak about what has been going on these days.

If you haven't read my new series called: "The Era Of The Lost and Generic" i suggest you do. Its something I have had in my head for years now. Its finally here so read it if you can get the chance.

I dont think people really understand what is going on, but let me make it clear. People have continued to deny to themselves something was wrong. The thing is that no one has had the will nor the ideas to deal with it. Its easy (well mostly easy) to get all the tools for "survival". Guns, Food, Bibles the whole lot.

But what I been seeing is that the America that thought it was America and acted like it was America, is soon heading to pass and it will not have happy ending.

I feel as though people might just go plum insane. My sister has. Not to get too deep into it but boy... it has been a difficult three days.

But isn't strange? That most of us are psychologically childish and those that are not are told that they don't belong in Society. Its almost a sight to behold - an art form to some dark mirror that most don't want to deal with.

Explain to me when one suggested to rest the mind, they think 2 week vacation instead of 15 - 30 min of staying still and not doing a damn thing? Humanity has a lot to account for, and a lot to fix and all it wants to do is to escape to what? Huluwood? Musak? WII would like to play?

The sadness that our generation has seen is now being paid in full. We could lose everything we hold dear.

All because we didn't allow the broken soul to speak.

The People that Lost the Will to Live, made it so. And thats why we are heading to the place where, The earth will be...

A Dead Ball in the Universe.

Novid - Hulu Blows Even More
Originally Posted on Cartoon Electro...

Hulu, you were a hot mess before, now your a hotter tranny mess.

That was not a good message to send. Using the Alien motif? Shrinking your brains? Lord.

And the fact that shill boy of the liberals 2000 cant act for shit…and all of the blatant symbolism? You take me for some idiots?

Its almost like people like us folk are being ripped to shreds. This particular Hulu advertisement is pretty much saying - be generic, we are about to control everything…

So its not just Crunchyroll that reeks, its now its Mainstream counterpart Hulu… One industry is going to suffer so it can succeed in a lifeless amorous blob called the Internet?

Heh. I deal with these idiots all the damn time. And you wonder why, why they are aiming for the Video Game industry.

Its so easy to do a simple advertisement, just look at cars.com and the like.

These are the reasons why I dislike the media. They promote the way the Japanese promote in this modern era - they are in cahoots with each other and if you dont believe me look how they treated Sarah Palin (even though I don’t like her personally) and how the almost through there own sheer will railroaded Obama in (see The View Interview with John Zigler) In which he may have become President on his own merit without the medias help…

So folks, there’s the reason why Hulu now really really sucks. Its just like Crunchyroll is for the weeboos, a grave site for the mass culture.

I was looking at an episode of Divorce Court - the last few min and Judge Toler stated something that just stuck with me. There is no such thing as manhood anymore because everything that is considered to be about manhood in this era is destructive and she wonders if its over.

Miss Toler, in my opinion it has been over since the days of the e/i act, since the days before all this. You cannot have a society that is based on hyprocey on all levels and all sides before it falls and topples upon themselves.

You cannot, and you said you would not even try to solve the problem. That is the right answer because you cannot stop what is pretty much what hulu says what they are going to do - create a new mass culture just like Youtube and or Crunchyroll, who has no respect - no tact and no sense of MODERATION in ones life. To expand it a little further, there are certain men who cannot and possibly should not be married, you cannot force them to - you cannot arrange a marriage to make them give a damn about the woman or her kids. He will just do what he had continued to do, damn the law, damn everyone else - except the culture that BROUGHT that particular person up. That is his realm of influence.

You know what, It doesn’t matter because i cant stop them from getting females pregnant out of wedlock, and having a society already anti-human (read as anti-feminine or female) putting even more phycological damage on females already damage from the huluwood/crunchyroll/youtube media. I cant stop them from being fools. I cant stop my sister dating some guy who isnt trustworthy.

No, i let them be. Because its better to watch what they do - and how they self-mutilate themselves over nonsense. And to take the point further - We don’t have to tolerate a god damn thing (if you see Gran Torino you would understand) if its destroying our personal (and i do mean personal) space. But what one must do - despite that - its not to tolerate, or meld, or objectify or multicultrise the whole fucking enterprise - no - its time to LEARN for the first time in these petty lives we live as Americans what THEY (what ever stereotype you want to place on people) ARE, by learning what they ARE NOT!

Because Japan isn’t the magical dark world (or light based) of big chested chicks and hard-nosed fighters doesn’t mean everything else they write is sacronant.

Just because you think women are out there just to make babies and have nice pretty orgasms doesn’t make it so.

Just because Hulu wants to become the new bigger and better Shockwave Films, with some aspects of stage6 and thereby become the NEW home of all internet entertainment doesn’t fucking mean its going to be so!

And every damn time - we as men any men who give a fuck - have something we like to see or do - some old ignorant envious bastard with money wether its from washington or huluwood hills tries to muck that shit up by promoting HIS own shit that we know its fake and has no truth and if he doesnt win that way, he pass laws to stop it and if that dont work then he tries to buy it off and create new work and say “we dont need you stinking blue collar sons of bitches here - this for the kiddreen…” and when he FAILS again he breaks the industry in a million pieces, because he doesn’t have a fucking SOUL and he don’t want you to have one! They will KILL every motherfucker that gave a damn about telling the truth to men just to make them weak and when he sends old men to tell us to become and do like all the other good robots do - we close our ears for good reason.

Its like I have stated before way way way back- I do this for those who wish to hear. If they dont want to they can go to Crunchyroll and shove their 4chan dildo up there slavish asses, I give a fuck less. We need to take lessons on how to show kids the right way - if the NFL and the sporting world can do it why cant huluwood? Oh wait thats not in their interests…

To me, This Hulu advertisment shows what they really feel about this business. Its a damn shame - but im not worried because as long as somebody with a soul still can draw and animate and write his/her story like Corline, or Persoplis or Wall-E, and in the hands of people like Al Kahn Animation will never be in the control of these sons of bitches who have no idea that they just outed themselves as nothing more than the creators of the Generic, feminisised bs American Life style we stopped caring for the day we realized Tupac, Biggie and Cobain was dead and in their place came Brittany Spears…

So Miss Lynn Toler, yes. Its dead. You can cry but not at the black man nor the white or the hispanic, asian, first nation or jew. Cry because we cant do nothing because we have NOTHING left to fight for. We are political criminals in our own Nation because we bought something in Japan and send to the gallows for “some one elses protection” when we did nothing to anybody! They send us to war for reasons i dont want to mention here - and when we come back, our brains are screwed up and nothing can save us. We are being railroaded by taxes, no bailout for us - and now we got to deal with this wii contraption with huluwood loves but we cannot stand.

That advertisement represents everything that has gone wrong in huluwood. They are fucking aliens. Because I dont see why the hell The Dark Knight gets shafted even the Wrestler was shafted - but something called slumdog millionare gets awarded and rewarded? I dont see how a story about a woman who ate too much during the Holidays is major news, I dont see why from Batman Beyond, Gargoyles, Astro Boy, and many other shows before we had talented writers and producers who can talk the alien executive language got canned for no reason but just like Liberal boy stated - they ended these shows, almost destroyed Saturday Morning and made a mockery of the American dubbing industry in turn too make our brains into mush by looking at Paris Hilton and her petty problems, or what he did or she did and what there wearing and what have you. Its a fucking tragedy. They show you what they think of all of us, and if we continue fighting each other, not changing our individual behaviors - they will continue to down play what makes us human and they will truly have won.

Forget the actual device of the TV, that was never the problem - the day somebody else could use the TV for something else than those three channels was the day they started all this about sex and violence and tried to control it. And in some ways they won, and in some ways they didn’t. But this ad is bigger than what you think it is, and its high damn time that they need to get called out for it. Hulu is another ponzi scheme from people who are not business men but social engineers, just like Crunchyroll. If you want to see real change - look what stage6 has done and what Gametrailers continues to do.

Hulu and the majority of huluwood are tools. Nothing more and nothing less and I will be the first one here, the day hulu shuts down for good laughing my ass off in joy.

Novid - The Eyes of a Lost Truth...
I know I haven't been here for a while. I had to think about things these days.

And the toughest thing in life one must face is to see the world as it is.

There is a person here in shadowness, who I am enamored with. I only talked to her once or twice earlier in the year. I think she is wonder and joy in a world filled of utter darkness.

But something is nagging me in the back of my mind. How do I go about saying it. How do I "compete" being 6'4, 225, darker skin... against those that are more handsome than I? How do I introduce myself? How can i deal with family who may never accept me and even if I am accepted, how would she be accepted by my own?

Maybe its not about acceptance but more about do we have interests? Our likes and dislikes? Would we take the taunting from those who think they have better answers for us if there is an "us"?

Yes, I have every right to be scared. Because i reached a point in life where its now or never again...

Have you ever cared for someone that you wanted to be with that person for the long term, maybe a whole life time ... impurities and all? I had. Twice. I don't want to lose another chance.

I have looked and looking isn't enough. I have seen but seeing is not believing. I want to do more in life... but it seems that its hard not wondering and knowing if some one with wiser eyes, softer hands, greater will, wondrous heart would come into life and shake the foundations of the cynicism that makes my life hard to bear.

But maybe life isn't for the easy way out. Maybe all life is are a bunch of what if's never realized. I just want to know if this what if... is to become right now.

How can i reach her...

How can i grasp the will to wake up and do something to change these circumstances?

Maybe its too late...

Maybe its all for nothing...

But then again - let me try. If nothing else - to confirm what is known or to go ahead and make what if, right now...

Novid - Mankind on the Crossroads.
This is mostly about Prop 8, and the whole issues around it.

Take it from me - I care less. The world has have had these people existing long before this issue came about and will exist after this issue continues to distract from mankind's real goal in my opinion - his loyalty of itself only or of its love of a God and himself only.

I have come to the conclusion that human love in its forms, is nothing more than a construct in order for the production of more human beings. For the construct to work, those in the powers that be created Marriage as first a business contract, then as contract for the transfer of wealth of material possessions, which children are of a part of - and as a way to control and contract life force unless something or someone threatens the structure the marriage created.

Romantic Love belongs in the hands of the book makers and writers of the TV, the Broadway, the anime... It is not and cannot exist in the reality of human life.

Prop 8 - for better or worse - is the death nell of the concept not just for those who are homosexual (and those that support them) but the same to the heterosexual (and those that supported them). They are controlled by those that create distractions from the real issue of humanity, our spiritual makeup - and the aspect that if one doesn't have loyalty to ones self, why would he be loyal to the one he "loves" or "cares" for.

We have to get this really clear - so everybody knows. How come the white evangelicals, the black evangelicals, most Christians, many Orthodox Jews, and if not all of Mohammedism (Islam) all agree that Gays are bad news, but cannot - and will not solve the problem in Palestine? Its all or nothing when it comes to THIS issue, but why is it half truths, half falsities with Palestine? They can agree on this issue and NOT on how to fix the world economic situation (the religions agree on this, but not the leaders of the countries)

There is a thing I sense when I hear both sides of the argument - Mike Savage and Keith Obermann. Before i get to what my side of the argument is, let me get to the real deal - when i heard Savage - i got a rise out of his argument - the one of ego based rage - too many good black men gay or on the down low where there are too many black women festering getting fat on food... when i heard Obermanns, i got the id side of emotional sadness - how my friend suffered in his life dealing with his homosexuality and the love that wasnt allowed even now, between those of another race and to those of other sexes.

But then i realize that its all a game. All the protest on both sides - to keep the status quo. Im tired of it.

I realize that there is a certain people who will never grow and never change. I say let them stay that way. There is nothing to gain.

I realize there are certain people who want to keep changing. Let them change. There is nothing to gain from too much change anyway.

What the real truth is that I never understood love when I was 6 years old when I had my first Girlfriend (and only one) Its been 20 years of heartbreak, vanity and the like since then.

Why does one need to be married in order to prove anything?

Why does one need to live in there biases to state what it is, is?

Its because man is split from his inner nature. Thats what it is.

He refuses to see his dark side and his darker nature.

He Marries in order to run away from his self and the reality of existence and have children (now of days anyway) because both partners are tired of oneself. A man could love his turkey, his wine, or even his video games with the greatest love and the greatest care one has ever seen, and he will never love his wife or his symbiotic partner as much as those possessions.

So its time to give this all up.

Its been long since time for the movement to end.

Lets put it this way - create places for people to live in. Im not saying separate jobs or this that or what have you. I'm saying that if people want to get married and they feel as though they don't want to stay in a place that doesn't have there best interests at heart - then move to a place that does. That goes for those that feel that the country isn't working for you or you want to be where One Piece is a success or what have you. It might be running away from the problem, but is that problem so big your willing to do such a thing? To live in your biases? If thats all you know and all you will know? Thats fine with me, i don't care.

Lets end this marriage issue - say what you want, give the voters the vote and let it not be overturned for another 20 years. Let it begin, if marriage is between those that can breed, say so. If its between those of like races, say so. I don't give a fuck and it will not change my life anyway.

Why is humanity so hung up on being scared of being alone? What is with it and the darkness that one fears so much... are they scared of the voice that screams at them at night? Why do humanity fears to be alone?

Maybe, it is because we have been told that everything is better together, that the mass is greater than one and what have you. but that isn't true - you saw that with Obama. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. But when one is all that is need to change the world, because the need of the many are some of the most foolish, what then? Will one's need to be a individual be squashed because of the needs of the many?

I dont know about you - but i think that this whole issue is nothing more than about sex, and the lack or need of spirituality in it. I think is time to take it on the chin. Many people cant have a "relationship" only "sexual partners" and its been a LONG ass time - but its time to admit that fact. Man is still way too primitive to grasp concepts that only a few understand.

In my life - I haven't really seen or been a part of an "true relationship". Yes, my mom and my dad have been together for thirty years - but did they grow to "love" each other. In my opinion they grew to tolerate each other - and in if they were married in 2008 and not 1979 - toleration may be good for those 'in the life' but not good enough for the majority of marriages. Savage can say what he wants about how its good to have kids young, but i seen the damage my own self and while he can rail on those that are out of wedlock (since when wedding and lock connotes "slavery" since a lock is a part of a prison cuff or chain?) He cannot say it both ways. But since he has a successful family with a multi billionaire son - he can say what he wants.

And that what it comes down to again, money. This whole thing is about money. Not "love" nor "lack of love in this world". The Church (black, hispanic and white) is using the same birth to death economic model that is being used to destroy the middle class to destroy there "enemies". Because if they don't get money in there pews, they don't exist - and if the Gay Commune doesn't get a "stipend" for there "promotions" of "rights denied" they dont have power. In the end, the country loses.

Its time to split "love" from "sexual need" and "relationship" from "love" because one can be in a "relationship" and not be in "love". One can have a intimate conversation without being sexual or have it being sexualized. One need to become one with himself, loyal to himself or to the love of his God and loyalty to himself before he can do anything with other people. He can admire a woman or a man of he so choose, and even have "sexual relations" with the person, but he/she must learn to have a distance - so that person can have his own life to lead and the other has theirs. There is a time where you need to let go of your kids and let them live their lives. When the rest of humanity get this, we will have peace on this world.

But until then more Prop 8's will come, and more Prop 8's will fail. All because other people refuse to let others to live there own life's and try and find what they feel makes them "happy" in the miserable existence called life.

But there will be others that will live without wondering what vote will come down, what will do this or that, who will kill us next and what not. Those people are the freest of all. They dont need words to tell them what to do, people to tell them what to think, leaders to show them what is next. They dont need a vote.

All they needed was themselves and there attitude about life and they knowing what reality really is and how they responded to it.

Thats what all one needed, and will ever need in this world.

Novid - Election Primer: The New
The Election is over.

Obama has won in convincing fashion.

Mankind cheers and tears, but I do not.

I have seen this same man before - he's the same dude that got all the pretty girls in school, but in the end; they ended up pregnant.

This time, I will stand against of such men. Why? Why do you, Ronin is against one of your own.

One, He isn't one of my own. My own is the ones that have been disenfranchised for years on end. If that changes to those of a different color now - then I back them, and not yall.

But then again, I might be a soulless son of a bitch because I wasn't crying along with my "brothers" and "sisters" Let it be that way. I have to hide my soul away so men like these don't take it from me.

He cannot prove the sadness. He cannot control the anger, he will destroy everything that one side of his heritage built, and the other side never knew how to use.

If i have to be alone for the rest of my life to showcase how i feel, thats fine. But let it be known that Bush set up the disaster that is to come, so Obama could finally complete (to the chagrin of many blacks) the neo-left fascism that will come. Its not new nor left - its old and its dark.

I might be the only one to fight back, but let me be the Seeker of the Wizards First Rule... I wont use my fists - I will use my voice, my guitar, my words and my courage to state the obvious to the youth who has no idea of glory, no idea of honesty, no idea of truth and now no Idea of stewardship. YOUR GUILT against a person of another race doesn't exist. The only burden of proof - is the way you created your countrymen for the last 35 years. THATS the only GUILT I see.

[img]http://antzinpantz.com/kns/images/Obama_Walks_On_Water(1).jpg[/img]

So now you want to enslave us with your claptrap - you will never get me... Remember - Im the guy in the high school that couldnt talk right? Who was in Special Needs and treated like a Kid? BUT NOW you think you have the whole world in your shoulders? WRONG...

I fight back. Until my life is at a end. You Liberals are people of the lie - and I will continue to say this until you realize it - You will be sorry. I promise you that.

As the world goes crazy - I will stay sane. I will stay awake. Then when the time is right - The opening salvo of brining back mankind from the brink of darkness starts. This is bigger than a country, this is the whole world at the brink of madness beyond all comprehension. And I will not run away. Even if others do from me.

This is bigger than you. This is much bigger than anything you can deal with. But It will be bitter pill to swallow if all those tears turn to blood. And it just might happen. We are in the countdown to destruction and you can hear the symphony... Because the blood is in the world's hands...

All there is left to do - against the people that lost the will, and refuse to live -

[b] IS TO FIGHT BACK... [/b]

Thats all there is left to do.

Novid - The Mythos...
(Original Work Done by Red Ice Creations)

A long time ago, there was a man who didn't want to live in this world of killing and Fighting anymore.

Fully Convinced, That mankind would improve and become more peaceful during its evolution and being a man of genius...

He Built a machine that would enable him to sleep as in death...

100 years later, the machine was supposed to wake him, at which time he would find a better world, one that would be worth living in.

100 years, passed.

The Machine woke the man, but although everything had changed, mankind had not. So the man returned to his machine and kept returning to it, until the 32nd time, where he awoke to find, that there was no more life on earth...

There was no bird in the sky...

No Fish in the Sea...

No Tree

and no Flower.

Man had killed all the plants, all the animals, and at last even himself.

Leaving the earth a dead ball in the universe...

Seeing this, the Man sat down on the bleak ground...

And Tears ran down his cheeks...

His Lungs Inhaled the deadly air...

And darkness closed all around him, as he followed all the others -

To a place of no fighting and no killing

No Grief , nor envy, nor sorrow...

Would you like to know the name of this place?

Its called Eternity...

And the only gate you must past through to enter it...

The one which separates life and death....

Novid - Election Primer: 8 Days...
To what - is the great question of the day.

There seems to be a undercurrent going down. Obama is being targeted. McCain is losing steam. Obama is "hiding things" - McCain is "being snippy" Even Rush is stating that Obama might be hiding his true identity - reasons being that an Obama presidency will bring back the fairness doctrine, killing his business. That is much more of a legit concern.

But, folks - I tell you this much. 8 days - and nearly two years of campaigning, and they still will not talk about the big, blinding bloody light staring down at us.

Im talking about the wars. The damage has been done. For Good or Ill. The sad thing about this is that nobody wants to talk about it any more.

I have a feeling that this war didn't really start for oil. 9/11 was one of the major causes we started this. But the other major cause is something that went LONG before 9/11 started.

When I was in high school - I got the sense that most of the friends I knew were doing things that were beyond the pale. (4Chan has NOTHING, and I MEAN NOTHING on what really when down in George Washington High back in 1997 - 1999.) I also got the sense that there was a second undercurrent - a semi-fascistic and almost psychological racism building. Even though I was taught to respect and even like other people of different colors, when put into action - it always came back to the same split dichotomy.

A old man once told me that "you young people know that your more split than it was back then" I thought it was more of a "get out my lawn" moment - but then looking at it more closely it wasn't. Lunch was split between those that had and those that havent - the races, the goths and the preps. As much as the adults tried and tried to promote multicultural ideology - the more split we became.

And something festered. It started to grow - then what came out of that festering was Bush - was it that the country was scared of things that were out of there control? Then 9/11 happened and there began humanities great travail into a place where nothing is real and everything and word is used as a ploy for control.

This festering is now out of control. But its on the other side now. And these two festering sides are pulling the mass - no - the individual man or woman in to one side of the argument - for the promise of security, freedom to express, freedom to think and so on.

Well, I saw both sides. There nothing more than feuding brothers or sisters being taken for fools by those they want to become, the rich, the powerful - the soulless minions who would steal the hard earn work from there hands and kill them in sight if they had a chance for there betterment.

There is a reason why Gossip Girl succeeds - sure its pretty people with problems - but its a look at the future holders of the estate of the United States, while the story of the Ghettos remains untold - only through the eyes of old women who no ideas and no power. The men who have the will to live, were not given to freedom to live - the freedom to be men - and the only way they could have the two point five kids, the pretty wife and the nice house - was to spend millions of dollars for schooling - all to get back minimal wage work for the next 15 years. And yet the schooling sucks because they dont educate you (Unless in a Art school or a Tech school or something close to that) they indoctrinate you with all sorts of ideas that go against your own SOUL and own SELFHOOD. Go and see Temple University or How About Yuppie-Town, (Seattle) Washington where they talk about Obama as the new hope - BUT HAVE NEVER EVER BEFORE TALKED TO ANYBODY OUTSIDE of there "liberal" culture.

Who then is more dangerous? Answer - were in deep trouble regardless.

For me, until things change voting isn't going to change a damn thing. Im still black. Im still stuck in a town (for the time being) that is nearing lockdown mode because of the issues with the cops, Im still single, the job isn't paying enough - I like this one person but dont know how to approach her - or even if I should try - I still want things but dont have the money for it - I worry about Iraq all the time, Im still disgusted on how Jessie was treated by Customs over in New York (all in the name of protecting the CORPORATIONS? IS THAT YOUR EXCUSE NOW TSA? YOU HAVE SO MANY TERRORISTS WAITING IN THE WINGS WAITING TO STRIKE FROM (SOME) MEXICANS THAT GO UP HERE NOT TO WORK BUT TO HURT MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, TO THOSE WHO WANT TO KILL US (BUT WE CANT MENTION THEM BY NAME) BUT YOU GO AFTER A ARTIST OVER COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT? WTF IS THAT FOR?) and this election never talked about the issues.

We will have tough times ahead. We cant run away from them. Are we going to at least learn to talk just a few words to each other or are we gonna shoot first and ask questions later? No Obama speech is gonna change the mind of a woman who only cares about the "Lord". No McCain speech will change the mind of the yuppies over at Seattle or NYC - We are more split than we ever realized.

All because every damn adult tried for all of us to get along.

Well, fancy that - It failed.

Maybe the adults should have taken the advice of there perverted uncles.

The only way anybody ever got together, was in bed.

And that why my friends,

We will become the people that refused to live.

Novid - Drowning In The Abyss
Only Mankind could create great nations...
And have no will to keep it afloat.

Only mankind can create such beauty
To see it violated mercilessly like wild dogs.

Only mankind could in his last gasp of air
Make one final wish
Of something nonsensical...

Such creatures have no capability nor the capacity
to render its self free.

The abyss may have been our only truth...
And may have been our only home.

This planet is a jail cell, full of convicts.
Ready to go insane in a moments notice

Meant to wander aimlessly around the earth
Meant to die before even birthed.

All this on this bleak ground...
Dying babies, blood soaked men bleeding from there mouths
The women drowning in the sandy mound.

This is the end of it all
all of the fighting and all of the killing
all of the grief, envy and sorrow.

You know how we reached here?

We reached here because we were afraid to experience love...
all we had given was the aspect of lust.
We reached here because we were to dumb to understand trust
all we have given was the aspect of darkness.
We created machines to go the the moon
but not away to give men true freedom
We created millions of stories
but not one man read them to change himself.
And all we did - was to lust with our vanity
destroy others with our insanity
Give our sovereignty away to the insane
In order to continue the same vain ways.

What have we become as we enter the abyss?
The people that lost the will to live
At the edge of the road to hell.
We were given the truth
but we became webots and blinded three hundred and sixty ways
to nothing.
We have become, the toothless, souless demons of perfidy
too dead for the maggots to eat
and too stale for the carrion to feast

What is the only way out of this?
It is called eternity
and the only way to enter this
is the one gate
to the area
between life
and death...

Novid - To all (new and old) in Shadowness...a Greetings and Hope in troubled times
Folks, don't let the headline fool you - there is trouble ahead. Lets just say that these moneychanger folks don't really care about us. They never did, and never really will.

This site for the past 5-7 years has been a home to me. But recent events (Jessie's - Axl99 trip to NYC) has showcased a dire need to let you know what has been going on.

If you didn't know - know this - those of voting age - some of us here, mostly our parents and family members those of 18 and older - has told their representatives that if they vote the bailout in, the voters will hang them high in november. You would think wall street would respond by saying ok, I been doing this for too long, I will stop and restructure my ways.

Instead, these recalcitrant imbeciles got so angry at us because we won't give them there crack called a bailout - they sent the market plunging. 777.83.

The next day (yesterday) the market went back up another 487 points. But thats in the hopes of a the PLAN "B" of most evil guys plans. Come on, these sons of bitches in Wall Street never watched a cartoon in there lives - and the companies that do cartoons are being taken for a ride in there. They would learn a lot quite frankly.

But when America sneezes - the rest of the world will catch it badly. Russia had to close there markets THREE times. THREE times. Japan is still reeling. China has gone up and down. The EuroZone had to buy back banks... Its getting worse.

But don't you think it is interesting, Sony leads, markets are fine - Sony fights for respect in a video game world turing into a semi-socialistic mess, the markets asks for handouts. We are beginning to see something interesting in the south west - the illegal immigration issue and the housing market may be linked big time - and it could cause MASSIVE issues setting up actual no illegal zones, e-verify and the like in the the southwest - There going to be fights over this and it isn't going to be pretty.

Ever notice now we have four banks too - Wells Fargo, CitiBank, Chase Manhattan, Bank Of America. This goes with our 6 major media companies, 3 major car manufactures etc. When they get TOO BIG TO FAIL - are we gonna bail them out too?

Lets just cut to the chase. Right now - We are in a very severe depression. The upcoming Plan B is no different than Plan A. Im not gonna be here to discuss what type economics people believe in.

But lets just keep it simple - if they take and pass plan b - were going to have a Japanese style depression.

It took 15 years - it changed the anime industry and the video game industry over there for the most part (anime has 1 show that aired 52 + episodes at a time, where as now you many shows airing 13 episodes every other season - the reason being that there has been a lack of capital funds unless coming from other Asian or American markets - to fund such anime work... Video games in the meanwhile gained popularity in the states - with Sony, Konami, Capcom and Square leading the charge - now with Sony in a bit of a struggle, Microsoft Moneyhatting developers left and right - and Ninty using what is called in the Advertising world - "Sows Milk for Bacon" - i.e. using certain annoying and weaker aspects of femininity for marketing the Wii - the market is turning into utter shambles. If it wasn't for the smarter heads of Sony using the PSP as a beach head in there major markets - there would be heads rolling) and not always for the better.

If Plan B does pass - then this nation will finally begin what I call - The Split. It has been shown in Video Games before. The split is when they will call states rights - but since they do not want a Civli War - they will split between a collection of states - regionalization if you will. Then it will be further split between lines of class - then lines of race, then of sex etc. Those Who Are Against Mankind will finally get there wish - the people that lost the will to live.
The difference between this and what Dr Paul states - is that it will be the groups causing individuals to submit to racial, economic and religious dictates. Once that comes to pass - any one of these groups can start conflicts with others. The government will become toothless to stop it.

If Plan B from the government does not pass - then those with the capital will move there money away from the United States - something what I call the Event - in which that most if not 95% of the the major international companies will dump the Treasury Bonds, and enter into other markets, such like in South America (Brazil etc) and continue the work in Dubai.

This will leave the country with out a brain trust to rebuild - since most of the liberal and some of the conservative brain trust will leave with the major corporations. Note i left China out of this? They will suffer horribly because they were so linked with the US, but since there is no capital - and since they cant bring over many of there country men to REBUILD the capital - there will be a massive revolution - possibly a civil war - that will send China backwards 50 years. With some of the new powers coming up such as the Middle East and the Revived Roman Catholic (but still weak) powers in South America - The Entertainment and Art worlds move from the west - to South America and the middle east and oriental areas - the Biggest changes in Brazil and outlining areas - since its common history with Japan, Russia, Spanish Portuguese, African, Dutch and America - gives it a cornucopia of stories. The animation industry and anime could be revived there.

But what if i tell you there is a way out of this. But they in the Congress will never do it. Bring the Fed back into the treasury and fire Paulson. Next session of congress - put those that will try and back our money or at least some of it with Gold, and silver - or how About diamonds!? Sure, there will be some problems for a few months - but is better than 2 years if this plan does not pass and its better than 10 -15 years if it does.

In the meantime - there gonna be hard times. People are going to school to learn in the hopes of better jobs, and a chance to raise a family or if they want travel the world to learn about themselves and what is around them. But as in many cases - the jobs aren't there - and depression sets in - and the jobs that are there - doesn't fulfill the need nor the heart and nor the soul - what is left turns bad. Then the politicos who want nothing more than power - to dictate how one needs to live his life, but not himself/herself. Some of our great readers and observers of american life suffer through a problem - lost wishes. They have lived in the past, sometimes for too long - and at best if it doesn't cloud there judgement - it clouds how they see and understand other people (or their wish not to see another person or not to understand people) to the point where they would rather see a billion people die to keep one child free. This is a pathos that needs to be addressed, but may never will.

There will be events. Bad ones and good ones. But events that people just need to prepare for. This site is a home to me - you who are new should treat it as such and it will treat you back the same way. What i propose though is that at least ONE of the people of shadowness has to be close to you to meet them at least - you need 5 friends (or more) in life to help you a little bit- that doesn't mean you get rid of other friends or what have you - i like to call it the 100 mile rule. If things get bad or we lose contact with the net- shadowness will be always with you... It is the same way with the Long Dead and Legendary Buried Toonami... We will find ways to communicate with each other. It got to happen - because you can just have a communication device such as the Internet and at least not have other ways of continuing the art and ideals of the site beyond the web. So I'm just saying this because even though some of you do derivative work - you are artists in all stripes.

And maybe nature - maybe the love that surrounds those that embrace it - it doesn't nessarly come from inside you - will surround those that want it - and we will have the America that our parents are losing by a thread. Once we realized that we have lived too many lies about ourselves and each other - New ideas come up and they shatter the old ones. Once we feel the freedom to act, to draw, to persevere and survive the way one wishes and not the way it has become now - we will finally see what it means to have freedom. True Freedom.

So - think about it - start contacting those here - and see where it goes.

You will need to find the path - you cant follow those paths that were laid before you - but those you meet will help you light the way.

Novid - Election Primer Part Trois - The end of the nation? Part 2 (PLEASE READ)
Here is the Video:



Some Choice quotes from the notes he made:

[i]How it’s possible to profess to follow the Prince of Peace, and at the same time support preventive war, is totally baffling to me. [/i]

[i]We must never forget that freedom is the catalyst of all creative energy.

Our competitors are now intellectually and financially bankrupt which should make our job easier every day.

Some worry that our numbers are small compared to the majority that remains complacent about the current system of welfarism, corporatism, and militarism. But revolutions are never driven by a solid majority. Instead they are led by a small number of dedicated individuals working in unity for a cause. We benefit because our cause is freedom. It brings people from all walks of life together. This means there are no victims. We work together to achieve the right to run our own lives as we see fit and assume responsibility for ourselves and be permitted to keep and spend the fruits of our labor.[/i]

[i]We need to talk more of our alliance with those whose main issue is the environment. Property rights, the market economy and the Constitution are friends of the environment. In a free society, no one has the right to pollute or damage a neighbor’s land, water, or air. [/i]

[i]We are expected to believe that freedom is old-fashioned and must be rejected. It’s claimed that modern times require a centralized government with power placed in the hands of the few. This is completely false. Freedom, as protected by our Constitution, is a new idea in the historical sense. It’s been tried and found to be amazingly successful in producing great abundance, yet the notion that it’s outdated permeates our society. What is old is the idea of tyranny. We must never be willing to give up the principles of individual liberty; instead we must convince people that progress depends on advancing even further this concept rather than succumbing to the ancient idea of political power residing in the hands of a few.[/i]

[i]Distortion of history influences the thinking of almost everyone with a government education. War presidents are always portrayed as the greatest presidents—Lincoln, Wilson, Roosevelt. The economic ideas that are taught are always Keynesian or socialist. Ideas on banking always support central banking and never commodity money, as mandated by the Constitution. [/i]

He also talked about the aspect of what he would have done if he was President - deconstruct the whole modern day use of it.

And the media mostly says nothing. John Roberts tried, Madcow tried, even Glenn Beck tried. But NOTHING got through to these corrupt sons of bitches over at the RNC. I heard a wannabe Senator Claghorn and some... strange looking man named Liberman. How damn sad. And now to prevent those people from the Campaign For Liberty entering that sad farce of a convention, they have storm-troopers ready to use rubber bullets on people. If that psychotic Putin and Medvedev arn't trying to copy from our media and laughing hysterically at this fucking farce I don't know what the hell those two or any other leader would learn or take from us anymore - maybe except about Michael Phelps - but thats a different story.

I do not longer desire the concept of the President of the United States to become the Leader of the Free World. It was a interesting concept - but it was more of a Cold War moniker for the way Europe was saved from Russian aggression back then. But even when the President was called this - the nation went through the 1960's, Vietnam etc.

Obama and McClunk wants to lead in that concept that should have been thrown out a long time ago. I do not want to vote for people that want this office because one of there advisers has a BAD blood feuds with Russia, or because our BFF's in Israel (who's own people despite still hating on 'Palestine' but dislike the Knesset because of rampant, rampant corruption and sexual crimes that have been placed on the President of Israel) want Iran to stop with its Nuke Program (Biden says they have to deal with a Nuclear Iran...)

See - I don't totally agree with Mr Paul - not when it comes to King - and somewhat with Ghandi (its a long story with those two) There also some things he leaves out, and I disagree with the Marijuana and the like. But Paul wanted to go into this office because he wanted to get rid of things we did not need any more. He is country first and has the experience and does bring change. As a black conservative - I am looked upon with great distain among my community - and those who are also conservative but of a different nationality. Even those who say that are prudish of a sexual nature - consider me some sort of an pariah because i hear "you listen to people that dont give a fuck about you - why not love your race and start listening to those that give a fuck about you..."

I did, in Public School. I tried but something felt empty about it. I don't know what it was. All the females looked "good" had nice "behinds" - I was called special needs by the school district (because my parents - despite there educations didn't know what was going on in the schools at that time) My father (when he was normal) fought to get me out of that nonsense. But now years later I have my Bachelors Degree - all because of my own hard work - but sadly not of my own money. But what i learned between that time and now - is that no matter how much they say they care about you - no matter how much they stated all these other things - I never learned about how this nation became great, I heard all the bad things about it - all of them true mind you - and I wonder what is this nonsense about freedom and liberty was about.

The impetus that lead into why I started to learn about it was my sisters passing. My family at the time didn't know what caused her seizures. They went from doctor to doctor and they continued to say she would be fine. Then one day - my sister condition got really bad. She had to go to a better facility to see what was going on in her brain. She couldn't get the date because either the sectary screwed up - which seems to be the case or the Doctor really had that many children on his list (which seems not to be the case at that period) My father had connections - he could have gone to Johns Hopskins in Maryland - but it was too much and the City wouldnt do a thing.

They found out that two boys (from the autopsy) was playing with her hair - the hair holders (in the form of plastic marble balls connected to a string) was partly the cause of her problems. The Boys used her head as a drum... The teachers did NOTHING to the two boys. The other was a bad diagnosis by the family doctor.

When you see a 7 year old child die in your parents home - you tend to lose hope in humanity. And then to see her go into the cold ground below. You just feel numb and dead...you dont even feel the tears.

After a few days - my parents became more militant. More angry. At me because i wasn't a success. Because my sisters were stupid. What have you. They started becoming more and more against this country for no reason other than my sisters death. My parents long for home. But then I realized - my home is here. I cant leave it. Something is wrong with the way I was taught about this country - and so I started on this journey towards conservative ideals. And I realized that everything i was taught had more to it. Made things if not pretty - honest.

And then I realized that the way I lived my life - and the way others did was not one and the same - I didn't become part of a gang, I wasn't really down with the brothas, I wasn't too much concerned what the sistas would do if I had some female of another race in my arms (I still don't have a gf thats a long story in and of its self). I was tired of turning into something, some type of thug, some type of "something" that I wasn't even raised to become.

But recently - I have grown to really dislike the GOP and the Talking heads. That doesn't mean I will vote for Obama. That doesn't even mean I want to vote for Bob Barr or Banarak either. I don't want any more crazyness from supposed conservatives - I don't want to see the Prince of Peace used as some sort of new war god (maybe He always was and that may be the saddest thing) I don't want to save souls (i do that by my actions and not by my knocking on the door and saying "Christ loves you").

I want to be treated as a human being and as a man for the first time in my life. (And the only time my father stated I was any sort of a man, was when he stated I got my degree.)

Obama and McCain is not going to do this. All they gonna ask me to do is to give up more of my rights, more of my life to feed there consituants desires.

I want to live in a country when I can marry any person I wish without the person wondering if I can satisfy them in bed or not. (it's in the back of my mind all the time since i'm black and that stereotype still exist)

I want to live in a country where my child will be safe from harm - but without losing his/her freedom to learn and to grow.

I want to keep more my money so I can grow as a man

I want to travel the world without being looked at as a some sort of charity case

I want to be able to pay my debts...

I want to be able to do the right thing...

Ron Paul has the right ideas. Sadly - the american people are so psychopathically damaged (see the CSPAN calls during the DNC and the YEAHHHH guy in the RNC) that I don't even think we will have a country anymore in 4 years time. We have become some sort of a neo-Tribal corporation and the effects of which in the future will make Blade Runner look like Elmo's World.

I only wish I could have done more.

But I guess doing more isnt going to change anything is it.

So...i guess i wait and see if this one has any bite...

But until then... We are still looking at those that lost the will to live...

And we are looking through them through the dark glass window...

Of the Shadowness....

Novid - As you get back to work, or school...
Something to ponder... to wonder ... and maybe explain things in this world clearly and where my anger is focused at:

[i] yes, this is a common criticism, and i don't think its true, for the most part. he (Nietche) was primarily a deconstructionist, but that is a creative act. and before one builds anew, there should be a fallow period. this is essential in farming and in philosophy also.

to even imagine that a man can build a new religion or belief system is ridiculous. it can't happen. these things, these new systems, arise organically. especially if they are to be healthy and true. they can't be contrived and imposed by a single human being or group of humans. that would be disaster.

so those who even look to nietzsche, or anyone, to have undertaken such a task, are lunatics in my opinion.

man's work, the work of his critical apparatus and reason, is to deconstruct. its not to create in way people think of this word. creation does not happen consciously. only nature creates. man invents.

everything man has invented has been born from trauma. it is therefore not sustainable. none of it. everything you see is doomed to fall, because its roots are not in the real.

therefore, the sane man realizes the need for deconstructive models, and he is aware of taoist principles which teach this model.

man needs a less morbid relationship with death, decay, and deconstruction. this he does not have. he is therefore anxiety-ridden and purely aggressive (constructive) in his attitude.

taken too far, this attitude is destructive in its own right. it is acquisitive and conquestive.

the herding mentality, the clustering mentality, the lack of independence, etc, are all based in that primal trauma.

our societies do not permit true freedom or individual expression. thinking that they do does not mean they do. man still has to face the fact of how imprisoned he is. when he faces the full horror of his enslavement, then he will change. then he will end his problem, and wait patiently for a new way to present itself.

but he cannot, from within his present servitude, anticipate or even create that other state. that is delusion.

man does not create freedom. it comes to him when he is over and done with its opposite. man does not create hunger. it comes to him when his body is undernourished.

man does not create oxygen, but its there when he needs to breathe.

man does not love. he lives within it and it permeates his heart and mind when it chooses to; that is when the heart and mind are open, empty, and receptive enough.

precious things like freedom don't enter into man's birdbox world. they won't walk into his sewer or his cell. man must vacate the dungeons of his own making and walk out naked into that wilderness he fears so much.

as an ant cannot embrace a mountain, so man cannot embrace the truth. he can however finally allow it to embrace him. [/i]

-Michael Tsarion

Novid - Election Primer Part Trois - The end of the nation? Part 1
This is pure Psychopathy and narcissism in a scale that has never been seen, and never will be seen.

Even those that supposed to say something wrong with is speech... Something wrong with his manner, the whole bowing down to his person, the old style conservative - said it was the best speech he has seen in his life time.

When even he can be swayed, you know its fucking over.

Barack (or Barry) Hussein Obama (or Saroto or Dunham), has set himself for the greatest fall in the history of the world, and he will take my beloved country with it.

Such men cannot be challenged by stupid one issue words as the dumb and dying wannabe conservatives calling C-Span all night last night. Such men cannot be stopped by no name lawyers with no connections to major corporations. And such men cannot be stopped by people who knew the real man behind the greatest mask ever created.

No. There is only two ways to stop men like him. BREAK AWAY or let him choke under his own hubris.

I am not one who calls end time prophecies. But I want to say this now.

If Barack Obama isn't the antichrist... he is at least three men away to a antichrist. I will go to my grave saying that America was nearly given a fatal blow to its psyche tonight.

I know what i need to do. It may be a losing cause - BUT I rather lose with Sony than to win with Ninty. I rather lose with the Eagles than to win with the Giants...I rather lose with America than win anywhere else.

Because I know, there is no where else left to go with out this country. And I rather fight in the slums for a piece of meat out in the corner of 8th and Market or 5th and Broadway if this nation goes down in flames than to go to Dubai, or Akibara, or Port Hardcort and have relative peace.

This is my home. And Im not gonna let any punk ass wannabe leader, Black or White to fuck with it anymore than it already is.

I am joining Dr. Paul's Campaign For Liberty. I cant live waiting for the next fakeass leader planning more problems. I will not long stand for narcissistic, inartistic bastards saying things that make nonsense. I want change - but I must make that change for my self. But if I am my brothers keeper, I better keep this republic alive or he gonna die in my arms.

More later.

Novid - Back to Sin...
Work Created By Scott Oden

So the Olympics has ended.

Back to the world that has forgotten us.

Back to the fat sows that breed darkness.

And the dumb idiots that allow them.

Back to pychopatic leaders...

And the sheep that follow them.

Back to the same old depression

And the same old hatreds.

Back to the war we cannot lose

Because we cant win the war that is within us.

Back to a Nation running out of Energy

Because they don't want to give people fair training and fair wages.

Welcome back to the world that destroys your individuality

In order to join another fools banality

To a radio announcer thinking he can run for president.

To an old man with too many houses, none of them paid with his own earned money.

To a world where we have no political rights, because there is a lack of economic freedom. When one doesn't have that - he's more of a slave.

To people who go day by day, week by week in order to do the same thing over and over again for generations for nothing to be changed.

Now sex isn't the problem...it's Video Games? Oh yeah right. Caucus Georgia complaining about Russia? What else is new...

Nobody hears us. Nobody sees us.

We end up here... a cold damp box - reddish bones and the smell of decaying flesh.

Most teens didn't watch those games. How sad. Maybe they are too busy using dark images to show internet diseased pictures of themselves. Those emo's sure have to be happy. They wanted a whole lot of loving, but all they will see is loss and pain

2 weeks and the world was somewhat peaceful

2 years from now and we may not have a world to speak off.

Welcome to the jail cell, its at the edge of the road to hell!!!

Novid - This Life...
I don't know.

I don't understand this.

Im maybe crazy but, I been saying some things that I know its truthful.

Its hurting some people feelings. But i had to say them.

I look at the Olympics, and I just wonder. It's a shock to a system. It seems you get more good looking females and all of their womanhood are open for the taking just for winning gold medals. Its like in the hood, but somewhat sadly - the babies may never get a chance to live (one child rule in China)

I was about to fear for the Female Gymnasts... But as long as Bela (Kyroli) grip those ass wipes necks to the ground (and Lukins father...lord that dude got that stare man) they will be safe from the "REAL" Games (after the main events are over.)

But recently, i heard that Phelps is a fan of Wezzy F. Baby (aka Lil Wayne), and that music helped him win those 8 medals.

It just put things in full circle.

A new entry from The Game called My Life, just fits the pieces of what been going on in my life these days. It goes up and down.

All we have in this hood is the diabetes based females thinking there sexy. How are we shocked so many brothas are in the downlow. Granted, there some pretty ones out there, but what they have is the 3 big crutches. First crutch - "Its God/I Love Jesus/PersonalSavior... hey i say the same things too- good thing Im smart about it. Im not a fool. God may help you get you out of bed, but you did the work. He gave you the breath to breathe, but what are you doing with it? He gave you the Knowledge - but you keep it in the Book and those Christian works that don't contradict from it.

And your preachers still talking about the end times are coming close - Christians being hated on from the UN and what not - and the other motherfuckers telling the truth on all of your asses are the motherfuckers you wouldn't even let in your Church because they feel another man or woman can love them better than what ever straight faced wannabe "Greatest/Silent Generation" man/woman can treat them.

Now people are asking for the return of the Christian Sacred worldview, while destroying so many others because of what they do? How can they be so hypocritical! They are and they make more money than its Godly possible.

Second Crux: Oprah, or rather the Oprah Strength. Nuff Said.

Third Crux: OMG - LOOK AT HIM AND HER NO THAT ****** DID NOT DISS HIS RACE...

The whole world, is making so many mistakes. Its like nobody cares. The leaders of this country never really gave a damn about anybody else in this world from the end of the last great war - and are you surprised on all this things happening? Why do we need them? Why are we so shellshocked when it comes to electing our leaders?

So many idiots have forgotten about us. So its time to forget about them. Until somebody who gives a damn about us, not just his black consituatins or his white, or latin ones - I cant put my vote down.

How come Michael Phelps can swim in so many ladies like the rap stars talk about - makes me angry. Not at him mind you - and not because of morality issues - I'm a one woman man...

Its that femininity in this country only belongs to a few - and there few and far in-between. Are you shocked on what Amanda Beard said about a man who just kicked so much shit talking mother fucking pricks ass? That is the bitch that Camille Pailgia stated about some months ago while talking about Danielle Mercuri comparing her to Madonna... But it don't matter. Phelps gets his revenge.

But I, and this man in the picture are dealing with camcorders on the light fixtures in the city, trying to find more men like me to place in jail. They don't give a fuck if I have a degree, never commit a crime and whatnot. As long as Im 75 miles in the area, I'm just another fool from the street - never meant to become a superstar in the art world, just another shooter, another baller... never to know how great this country was before these assholes took it over and made it such a den of yucky bitches, dead brothas, and bad leaders holding a nuclear football.

Makes one wonder how we are living.

Badly, to be honest with you.

But something happened. I heard this entry from The Game.

And folks, its everything I wanted to hear from that industry. He didn't had to say much, but he stated the honest truth. Fuck Jesse Jackson - Why So Many Hood ****** Feed off Evil? Looking To find a Way to Get Through the Day, Walked Through The Gates of Hell...I should hate the Hood... and i do... Why haven't you take my life lord. .. because it hasn't been a life...

I been protected so long from the demons of the world. The demons are coming no matter what... Im depressed because i lost so many things to get to one goal and now I have to pay back the reapers in order to make sure the goal produced fruit.

And so many females getting babies, some making money off them, some killing them, some trying to raise them to no avail -

It makes my mind go crazy on why nothing went right?

Its like something went wrong in my history? Its like Im heading to self destruction. They say I'm African, but Im not incompetent like most of my fathers family are - they say Im black and I should love my race, but why love a race that self denying themselves of the truth - there women are not the greatest thing since creation, that some of there men can never love women no matter how many women you through at them - and the media doesn't understand how America worked at all so why the fuck they want to try and use us as a multicultural ploy?

And i just look the Olympics and just wonder.

All the womanhood spread open of all races.

So sad, that the only equality came in the form of a damn mattress.

It makes a good man want to commit suicide.

It makes a man want to give up on the world.

It makes a man want to say...

Please end this Nonsense...

I Lost the will to fight...

I don't want to live...

I LOST THE WILL TO LIVE!

I LOST THE MOTHERFUCKING WILL TO LIVE!

Novid - Ye Not Know Whenre Greatness Lives?
The Great Nation cried out to a universe uncaring and unforgiving.

To a Nation with no leaders, just hucksters.
The same nation with no builders, just jivers
The dying, atrophic nation of wishers, not doers.

Here is the last hero of a nation under the betwixt of the gramophone mind - The great man called Phelps. He is a humble man, with the anger of detractors less than him used and metamorphosed into the magical mystery tour of epic will, such that man has never seen or may never will see in his shortened time here on the dying blue ball called Gaia.

Let me tell you how a boy became a man, and not just a man - a legend that has not reached a equal. And let it be a criticism to those that tried to destroy him, from the community that does not love its people, to the school system only wanting sexual perfidy, to the men who could never grow up - and do a duty that doesn't take ones time but ones attitude about it. And to a system that does not let heroes like him grow up - but to become the worst of us, and there for create the leaders that will always lose, and thereby lead the world into its inviable end.

He was told by the socialistic schools of Maryland - not that far from foggy bottom, the place where hell is only two gold plated keys only a desk drawer away; that he had a disorder. Too hyperactive the teacher stated. Put him on a drug, they also said. But at the same time - he was passed over for higher studies - given to those who did not have the same skills as this hero did.

The mother, said no to these foolish men.

The Mother took him out for swim classes, following her daughter's hopes for the Centennial Olympiad... she did not make the cut. However, a man showed up - Robert Bowman, a swim coach. Not a bad bone in his body - he told the Mother that your son is destined for great things. The Mother was worried... she was trying to raise her son, he had no father - the father was out getting more chicks and banging more broads than anybody could think of. But something, some voice in that head - you know the voice every one has heard it and felt it and knew it. That voice stated - "Ye Not Know Whenre Greatness Lies?"

And so, she took the risk. And the trainer became his father from that day forward. So, it seems for many - it takes a man to be a father, but a animal to breed a child - and sadly, for many of us who are of a different stripe one not knows there fathers, the animals are the ones killing the whole metaculture of not only their families, their communities, but also - maybe in some strange, gunwale way - the nation as well.

But even greatness makes small errors. After a incident dealing with alcohol, a silly 16 year old punk from out the gutters of hyper-religiosity, or of secular monstrosity - it doesn't matter a wit, stated to the future hero that punk might watch that many years later in a Jail cell, while being embraced by a detritus ridden old fart: “Hey Phelps! Go have a beer and get behind the wheel!” His two sisters came and were about to kick the 16 year old punks ass, a much better fate than what has befallen him now - until the Mother said no.

For all the talk of womanhood being dead, trashed to the gutters by your friends at the WorldWideLeader - with their Gomez, Lopez, Devato and Cyrus leading the way to a future of Patrick, Jameason, Sands and others of their ilk- here are three women that did right by masculinity - the mother let his son go - while the sisters protected him like a golden goose that is about to bring forth, 8 golden eggs.

So came the Games. In a country that has never had any concept of honor nor of loyalty. It was ripped out of them by the very nation's non profit corporations where this new hero came from.

From the first race, we knew something was going to happen.

The second was too close.

The third wasnt even a test,

As the fourth went without a hitch,

The fifth if judged by those paid off judges in Gymnastics would have stopped this run, but thankfully the hero does not platform dive...

By the 6th you could have felt something in the air...

It was time.

It stopped.

Because at the 7th race it seemed that the hero could warp time and space with something Gamefaqs would call, a hax. Even in hyper HD, we still couldn't tell. (Blame NBC for its 1080i equipment).

As Bobby Costas stayed at the water cube, he and all those millions at home watched, the show, the legend, the new way of life.

As Jason J. Lezack blasted his way to the finish, the doubters lost. From the teacher, now fired from that school full of shame, to the lost father now full of AIDS; to the boy who screamed bloody murder to now becoming old mens fodder - to the swimmers who tried to rip asunder, the heroes destiny in the water.

And all we have for leaders? A old man who only made it because of his wife, and a younger man who's wife seems too crazy to be first lady - and on top of these? Too many secrets. Too many half truths. Too many twists and turns for a Nation deserving better. Not to mention the pervert in the house called white - who came in BayZing (as the Chinese would say) barely getting up from off his seat, smacking the ass of a married woman, and holding the flag the wrong way.

This nation that produced this man, and also almost destroyed him - deserves better.

However, I doubt the masses of this nation wants any better. What if we did get back our country the way it was? What then? Would the nation become better or live in the same ways, never growing never changing? What if we lose as a nation our core principles? Of being a republic? A nation that has no state religion (different from the separation of church and state) and become like China is now? What if some has already given up on this nation and is wanting to become more like China, because of a perceived morality that never existed outside of losing ones own free will? Because one forgot ones panties too many times, you want to lose a chance to own your home, your place of work and place of worship?

Thats why, only a few have changed the world. Too many people want to live in a jail cell. This man, has changed the world. He may have even broken the dark wall that overwhelms China without using one gun, one bomb. He has shown the freedom is key to the imagination and without that - you will have to lie (child don't look good enough), obfuscate(SHE 16! TRUST US!), and all and all out trick (CGI Fireworks! Good as real thing!) others to show your ready to become the new Hyperpower of the world.

What Michael Fredrick Phelps did was no trick. He isn't pretty. He is oddly shaped, talks with a queer (not gay) voice - but his mind is a sharp as a talon. From 17 races over 9 days he stated he will not give in to anyone. Not even himself. And from the new NBC (read Eastern Establishment) Sports catchall phrase for epic: Superlatives - the Gaelic bred man of water is the epiphany of the words that one Robert Howard stated about Conan... "The ancient empires fall, the dark-skinned peoples fade and even the demons of antiquity gasp their last, but over all stands the Gaelic barbarian, white-skinned, cold-eyed, dominant, the supreme fighting man of the earth."

Those are not easy words to swallow. But is there anything else that can be said about what happen those nine days in that squared cube. In that area...a new era was born.

To the leaders and plunderers of our nation, he is a great person.
To the detractors he is there sadness.
But to us - those who are closer to becoming the people who are losing the will to live - he is the man that refuses to fade in the western world that has lost its nerve.

And that, above all else...

Makes him a Hero.

Novid - Blood on the World's Hands.
This is you. Mankind.

Don't run. Don't hide.

See, you in the rawest darkest form ever shown on the screen.

The myopic demonic psychotronic chaos that is you, Mankind.

This is the Racism, Sexism, Greed, Pederastic you, Mankind.

And even one man, couldn't take in aspects of it.

And you cant get rid of it.

You cant kill it.

All you can hope for, is to make sure it doesn't infect you.

But it has. And its over when it does.

This is what civilization will become after the money fails, the schools close, and the doors to freedom shut.

Chaos, broken scars and utter detritus.

You see aspects of these in the lesser works of Maury Povcich and Jerry Springer. You see amalgamations of it in the leaders we elect.

But put it all together. And its this picture here.

But he is just ONE aspect of it, and what he did in that movie is just the tip of the iceberg.

An iceberg made of our own choosing. Because mankind became the people that refused to live.

And so now, you see the end. Chaos.

And the infection spreading.

And sin runs amuck, in the muck of human banality, and futility.

WHEN IS THE WESTERN WORLD GONNA FUCKING WAKE UP? WHEN WILL IT STOP BEING SO SICK? WHEN WILL IT STOP BEING SO GREEDY! The leaders of this modern western and middle eastern nations, wants a whole civilization to die, thats right DIE, so they can get MOTHER-FUCKING OIL AND OTHER RESOURCES! And Im not talking about The Middle East... Im talking Africa. What SICKNESS DO THESE IDIOTS HAVE? THEY CANT SAVE THERE OWN NATIONS? America is in serious trouble, France has a dictator, Nobody whose really German, likes that whore Merkel, the EU wants to OVERTURN the Irish vote... Dont get me started on McCain or Obama. Those mother-fucking fools could care less about us. Hope, Change? Change you can Believe in?

What happens when Australia is going to wait 60 days before, a US cashers check clears. What happens in Cleveland when millions of people are without a home because money mother-fucking whores over at the real estate world caused these people to break the law, in order to the families to get away from the ghetto...

You know where those stockholders are? Up in PI (The Philippines) getting there jollies off. Just like the Joker in the movie. But much more subdued.

And guess how they keep their power? By threatening people who want to keep there homes, 30 days or you lose it all. Sorry.

But when they lose money, the Government comes in to protect its own. FUCK THAT SHIT! Thats Socialism. I thought it was destroyed.

I have a very unfortunate truth. The US Government, NOT the people of the United States, and not the people of the world, are the greatest promoters of Socialistic ideology in the history of the world. And if you look at the Animation industry and Saturday Morning and the E/I laws, ITS THE TRUTH! ITS THE FUCKING COMMIE MANIFESTO when it comes to Children. The Government brought Mugabe to power, that government brought Communist China to power. And now it wants to Socialize BUSINESS LOSS!?

FUCK THAT SHIT. LET FANNIE MAY AND FREDDIE MAC BURN TO THE FUCKING GROUND!

Warner Brothers, maybe part of the Western Establishment. But in this movie, they have shown who is the enemy. It is us, and it isn't pretty.

There are those who wish to stop the truth to come out. They do it by sabotaging business. (The Anime Correction is partly caused by sabotage)
They do it by murder. They do it by threating the family... But let it be known, unless those that threatening me want to take down the darkness - expose the truth - they are my enemies, and they will go down with them.

But ... the truth will come out.

And its this.

See that Joker?

It's your leaders, the majority of your CEO's, and it could be your best friend with that deep vicious streak...

See him, and know that you now live in the darkness.

You are now in the era of the Shadowness. Please sit down. Enjoy the ride - and maybe - you might just survive intact...

But I doubt it...

Why So Serious...

[i]"Just Get LAID!"[/i]

The last words before the darkness engulfs you.

Welcome...to the world of chotic sin.

You have reached to the end of the Road to Hell!

Novid - What about Iowa City?
Something you must know and Learn.

Things to Ponder.

How come in 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?

Why are they not sending the victims to Chicago?

Where is Brad Pitt and Miss Joile?

Where is CBS and the main networks and there telethon to help these folks?

When will Ann Coulter say that the dams were done in by "Communistic Cogitators"?

Where is the looting? Where are the fires?

Where is the Governor of the state of Iowa saying, we gonna have a Causi Iowa City, Because thats the way God wants it?

Why isn't John Mayer saying George W. Bush hates Poor, Rural Whites?

Why isn't Shepard Smith crying ... Gearado Rivera asking for help?

How come... after a while... you will not hear about Iowa City again?

When you care about the things outside of yourself, while the water is seeping through you, the only thing you do deserve is to drown.

Tell me, Nation. If you care so much about me and the plight of the "community"... why in God's name your letting your own citizens, some who had voted for you and the power structure now in power... die like dogs, lose there homes, and may not the same sort of recourse that happened just 3 years before in Katrina...

All because ... there not "of immediate need"

If you can be fair, do the right thing Eastern Establishment - and don't help anyone.

But i guess ... you cant.

And thats why we are becoming a Tribal state, instead of A republic state.