My bio-father is a civil, structural and nuclear engineer... He was head of the engineering department when they built the King Saud University. When he wasn't working on the University project, we were dragged all over the world for other minor jobs he had to check in on. It was awesome, in some ways, growing up internationally -- but it really screwed me when I had to go back to the US when I was nearly an adult. We didn't just go back to America, we moved to ALABAMA. I don't know how much you know about US states -- but Alabama is conservative, racist, unyielding, etc. I grew up with a greater understanding of the world and multicultural ideals. In the end, it alienated me from my family and what would have been my "roots and values" if I'd grown up there and I'm kinda an emotional orphan. I felt so "unAmerican" that I didn't know what to do... so I immigrated to Canada where people were more accepting of world views and different cultures. *I* think it's made me a much more informed, more interesting person -- but for my "family", it made me the enemy. *I* don't worship the US, I don't have a gun rack on my truck, I don't eat roadkill... Yeah, I can't live in the South. :/ I don't regret it though. Having my own opinions instead of forced redneck ideals is sooooo much better. LOL
sounds awesome. and i'm glad you got the best part from that kind of living - accepting the world as it is - varied :) and also very good that you left that state and that nation, actually. i like canada :)
but i guess it was hard with your "condition"? i know it would have been for me. i need stability, comfort and such. being moved around all the time would have made me very ill :(
me moved quite a lot when i was a child too, but at least it was in the same part of the county. and from 5 to 17, we lived in the same place. thankfully.
Thankfully I grew up moving, so I got used to it. I also had a very bad family. My mother is severely mentally ill and my father was really abusive. My only sibling is a massive drug addict. There was nothing for me. I have a lot more stability now -- to the point where I don`t even feel the need to leave my home. I did spend a lot of my life severely ill -- in many different ways. It`s had a lingering physical effect, but because I`m actually happy in Canada, it helps. XD
i'm so happy to read that! so happy for you, that you've finally found the stability you need
i have been very ill too, in many ways. and i understand your ex-husband didnt make anything better, at all :(
i had a bad father too. my mom was alright, but never really defended me or my sisters.
we're much better today, we are a real family now and we support each other no matter what. i've forgiven my father. it's been a long journey, and my private journey is still hard, but at least i have my family now. it's something that makes a lot of things better.
yes i understand. my father only did as he thought was best, as he was brought up as well. he didnt realize how wrong he did. i have talked with him about it all, and well, seeing my father - that i thought i hated - breaking down crying, it told me a lot about him. made it easier to forgive him. he is still a "hard" person to deal with, and to be close to. but i dont have to live with him anymore, and that has made a big difference between him and me.
oh yes. the saying "blood is thicker than water", i kind of turned that around :P i have 2 really best friends, one guy and one girl, and i call them brother and sister. i relied on my friends for my family for a long time.
you are a very strong person nora, and i admire you
The last time my father hit me was only a few years ago... and I`m almost forty. He actually never got `spanked` in his life -- but he beat the hell out of me. I`d get punched in the face simply for asking WHY I was getting beaten in the first place. He`d lie to himself and convince himself that I had done something to deserve it. I was always confused and never got answers because asking meant you were `talking back`. I`ve just had to give up. He`ll eventually either seek his own forgiveness, or he will never be willing to. I`ve gone ahead with my life... but it`s only been in the last couple of years that *I* finally moved on. I still desperately was seeking his approval and love. I had to come to see that I wasn`t going to get it. It`s alright though... Like I said, I made my own family. XD
my father was the same - asking why was talking back. i could never ever reason with him about any rules. i was never allowed to be me - i had to be who he wanted me to be. and that's affecting me today too. i'm struggling with that, and it's getting better. especially since i have so many other people around me that acknowledge me for Me.
my other family, in a way :)
Are you sure we aren't long-lost sisters? LOL My father hates everything about me. If I had become an engineer like him, it might have been a little better -- but I had my own opinions about politics, religion, what I wanted to be... and nothing was good enough or okay with him. Everything was either "Satanic" or "Evil" or "You're good for nothing and useless".